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- You step up and put your head above the foxhole only to get shot from behind. If you’ve been around a while, this becomes predictable.
- We do it anyway because it’s the right thing to do.
- You’ll know what kind of leader you are the first time you hear people talking shit about you. You’ll either say “fuck everybody” and go hide. Or you’ll realize that they’ll see the truth down the line. And even though it’s a kick in the balls, you get a rush from the pain.
- Humor is the safety valve.
- The definition of a hero is that you never hear them complain. From The Blues Brothers to Ray Donavan – they brush up and move forward.
- We feel compelled to do it, we know how to navigate the damage.
The poetic irony of this episode for me is that this whole podcast is essentially a real-time, real-life example of everybody just doing something good for the good of it.
Nobody’s involved because it’s a “career move” – it’s a labor of love, created and propagated purely for the fun of it and the coolness that it radiates out to others, then back.
Another great show…
I’m laughing my ass off listening to this podcast right now… Good grief, but sometimes we sure nail these things good and hard…
Great episode! I am based in Australia, and John’s comment about the Ukraine is apt.
It is surreal to be in Kiev (as I am now) and under 400 miles away is a war zone!
Even more so back in Feb / March this year when the Maidan Square protests that
got rid of the thieving president were a mere 3 miles away.
London is a 3 hour flight away… go figure!
Stay safe, Steven…
Wow. A lot of life experience in this. Keep it up!
These were my favorite points:
–Most people will avoid stepping up and being the lieutenant
–Social media and “humble-brags”
— Old Spiderman comics. (I read those!)
–Stress-eaters (interesting trivia)
–From Plato’s “Republic” — the concept of the reluctant leader.
Speaking of reluctant leaders. According to neuroscientist Ian Robertson (author of “The Winner Effect”), even if you put a “reluctant” leader into a position of power, his brain will eventually transform (increased dopamine and testosterone) and he’ll get addicted to the power. I think it’s an interesting theory. What do you think?
–Physical manifestations of stress in specific body parts. Laughing is key to releasing it. Cops know this. (I would think lifting weights and running is great for this)
–Convincing line: “There’s no guarantee you’ll come back from it.” — “What if it’s permanent?” “What happened to that guy? He burned out. . .”
–“We’re way off-topic” –> Stressed people starting to like horror movies and Stephen King for stress-release purposes.
Definitely not off-topic. The flow was great.
–“Ice T was to prove a point.”
Haha — sounds likely.
–“Buckets of blood”
Love hearing this kind of trivia!
–No good deed goes unpunished. Common meme among successful professionals. Be the go-to-guy.
Brilliant notes, Ludvig. Thanks for posting these.
Love the fact about reluctant leaders. Makes perfect sense to me. We’ve seen this on reality competition shows like Survivor, but even more so on shows like American Idol, where people weren’t chosen on *talent* (“nice ass” still qualifies as a talent, right?) and then are forced to grow into the massive high pressure of TV star overnight.
There has to a brainshift – and quick – for all that to come together.
Thanks Kevin — no problem.
Thank you for doing these podcasts.
Reminds me of Gary Halbert sending out dollar letters and getting complaints about the bill not being crisp enough.
If some people will bitch to the guy giving them free money, they will bitch about your good deeds too. It has little to do with you and everything to do with them, their beliefs and their lives.
But if you’ve survived long enough in the trenches, you know you will get complaints about your good deeds and then you do them anyway… because you know it’s right. There’s the old saying, “You know you’re over the target when you are taking the flak.”
There’s a certain type of personality who can take heat. Type 1 personalities. People who can take control of the situation and take responsibility for the consequences. It’s one of those things you can only get through experience. The reluctant leader is an invention of necessity. I know from experience, in every group I was a part of people looked to me for leadership… and I did not want the job, I was forced into it.
Some people just put out the reluctant leader vibe, other people pick up on that and conscript them.
And then there’s the quality of being willing to do what it takes, being the go-to guy. If someone was holding a gun to your head and you had to pick one person to go do something or else you’ll die, who would you send to do it? And you don’t know what they have to do… who would you send? I would send someone I know will do what it takes no matter what.
That’s like the scene from The Godfather when they send some guys to get the Frank Sinatra character an acting job. So they go talk to the producer and he denies their request. So they cut off his prize horse’s head. The director had no concept someone would go to that length to get what they want… and yet there was the proof right in his bed.
On being the reluctant leader, yeah, it’s a thankless job and I’ll take all the heat but I’m going to do what it takes. Yeah, Spider man knew he’d get trashed in the paper… yet went out and did his job anyway. And then carried around a secret he couldn’t tell anyone.
Heavy is the head that wears the crown but keep up the good work anyway!
Civilians (and privates) who never have to lead… and especially never have to deal with the consequences of leading or making decisions that impact others… just can’t get their mind around the complexities involved.
You can always tell the experience level of someone during a conversation about getting results. If they use a lot of concepts like “Well, they should just…” without explaining who “they” are, then you’re dealing a clueless human. Move away slowly… they will never of help to you or anyone else…
An amazing and insightful pod cast Guyz. The first one I have listened to, despite being on The Stay Frosty mailing list. Perhaps it’s because I don’t take the time to check my inbox more often?
The subject “No Good Deed…” is one that everyone , whether in Marketing , Sales or any other walk of life such as breathing, should be tutored in.
Am going to carry out an experiment and share the link to this pod- cast with a couple of groups I am involved with and monitor the reactions. Of course, whether there is some reaction, no reaction or just complete incredulity, the experiment will have been a success and it will be a different landscape that I enter into in the future.
Thank you John & Kevin for a brilliant expose and some really fun stuff to chuckle over.Volunteering , for me, will never, ever, be the same!
Let us know how your experiment goes, Robin…
I should just like to thank you both for a very entertaining and insightful podcast – thank you.
On the sad news of Robin Williams’ death, I feel quite shallow yet wish to connect. As with so many across the globe, the news knocked the wind out of me – so may I make what are probably pretty shallow contributions to some of the peripheral subjects you strayed into?
Regarding John’s female relatives/friends who, on approaching terminal decline suddenly took up an interest in horror stories. I wonder if this was a subconscious strengthening exercise to prepare them for the rigors ahead or were they simply affronted and tired of their lives being stereotyped as needing protection and nannying? They wanted to round their lives off with something more challenging and exciting – I hope so. But this is a very interesting phenomena so I do hope you will investigate this further.
Perhaps, if you were to advise your over-worked, potential burn-outs, that the stress they will suffer might well increase their chance of developing halitosis, impotence or double incontinence they might slow down just a tad. None of us like being humiliated – we imagine that is worse than death.
Talking of old black and white horror films, perhaps you might recall The Mummy with Boris Karloff in the title role. The bit I can still remember is the simple clip of the crypt with unravelling bandages dragging slowly along the floor.
Perhaps I could just finish by saying that humour is one of the two very good ways of de-stressing.
Thank you again, guys. Please accept my kindest regards.
Zara – thank you.
The Robin Williams news was a shocker. Truly in a league all his own as an entertainer. But I thought immediately of times I’ve heard him wax lovingly about his children.
Burnout leads to bad breath! Scary indeed.
Hi John and Kevin,
I agree with Brian, this podcast is the ultimate “good deed.” It is becoming more and more evident that people are becoming less inclined to say ‘Thank You’, for anything, but you guys are right, your motivation to do good things must come from within and less from the praise that you anticipate others will shower upon you. It’s like when you apologize to someone, you should apologize for your benefit, not for the other person’s benefit, because there’s a chance that the other party won’t accept your apology (or even give a damn). Great show as always, I hope that this show never sucks for either one of you and that you continue making episodes because we could all use more of your mentally tingling observations.
John, thank you for recommending Elmore Leonard in the episode about Kevin’s uncle. I forgot that Jackie Brown and Out of Sight (two of my favorite movies) were based on his books. I immediately bought Rum Punch and Out of Sight after listening to the show and am amazed that the majority of dialogue from the book was used word-for-word in the script. I just ordered MacDonald’s The Deep Blue Good-by today.
Thanks for a great show!
My mind is tingling right now.