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Stop pretending you’re not a vulnerable, somewhat scared human being in a hostile modern world full of traps and unfairness and choices with no easy answers.
We might be able to help you get a toehold in reality here… and the consequences of doing so will stun you.
A life full of wonder, wealth and happiness is almost impossible to come by without this kind of clue.
This is John’s Psych Insight #5:
A substantial percentage of the consultations and hot seats I do often drift at some point into personal lifestyle choices. That age-old question keeps coming up. What’s it all mean? It’s both a good question and a wrong question at the same time.
I long ago realized that humans are as frail as they are tough, as spiritually unmoored as they are committed to family and goals. The rich man suffers. The broke dude has a blast. The beautiful are crippled with fear. The compromised score huge wins.
Below the social surface, you cannot predict how anyone’s life is going at any given moment. It’s an internal process. The main problem is that we seldom confront the notion that we’re a vulnerable species in a dangerous universe, spinning on a globe around the sun in the middle of an endless abyss. That change and challenge and fear are constant companions and our brains sometimes work against us.
For anyone who ever got stoned in college, this kind of rumination can put you in a fetal position sobbing about the angst of being nothing more than a massive chemical and mechanical reaction sheaved in a stack of skin that barely keeps the germs out. However, for those who have cultivated a kind of Zen awareness of life, there’s no terror. There’s no meaning, in fact, to look for.
Meaning is a construct of the front lobe. Facing mortality will either make you want to get going or give up. Suicide is the extreme example of giving up. We all give up all the time, but one way, for example, of playing it out is to watch more TV, desultorily cruise the web, play some video games, watch some porn… maybe get drunk to see if that jars something loose.
Sometimes it seems that anyone with a solid healthy attitude about life just isn’t paying attention to what’s going on. When you realize that you’re in charge of your own script, other options bubble up desfpite the pressures of modern life in the asphalt jungle.
It’s a worthwhile subject to spend time on as you blaze your way toward your goals and business success.
I can relate entirely to the “meaning” paradox.
Trying to find meaning caused me a lot of unhappiness in life during my 20s. I kept myself stuck in my Christian background, sojourning from philosopher to philosopher, until I woke up one day and realized that no one knew what they were talking about.
Once I set that aside: my marriage improved, my relationship with my kids got better, I started working out and eating better, and my sense for what I actually wanted in life rose to the surface. The business part is getting there, but I’m grateful that I started sorting out life while my business is young so that I can enjoy the building process that much more.
It’s all still somewhat ironic to me. It’s just like you guys said: throwing up my hands and saying “What the hell? Let’s try something new” ended up changing life dramatically.
One small tip: Never berate yourself for whatever you’ve done (or not done) with your life to this point, now. Everyone does the best they can with the tools (and hangups) they’re saddled with… until new tools and new thinking patterns arrive, and then the lucky ones take another shot at a better life.
What I’ve noticed, throughout my long career, is that the folks who are the MOST happy always seem to have sampled brutal and unhappy times previously. They have something personal and traumatic to compare their transformed lives to, and it keeps them happy and focused. Something to consider…
My parents said I was “born afraid.” I spent most of my life worrying I was breaking rules written somewhere by someone, and believing I would suffer heartbreak and sorrow because of it. The result was that I lived a frustrating life in many ways according to other people’s visions of my life.
Then, two years ago, my kids left for college, my last cat died, my third marriage ended, and we had to sell our house. I lost everything, and lived in my best friend’s basement for a year. When it was time to consider buying a new house or condo, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I bought a Jeep instead, stopped coloring my hair so I could afford gas, went to visit a client in Florida, and didn’t come home for six months. I traveled the southern U.S. working from the road, visiting friends and family, and writing about the people, places and businesses I saw.
Now, I am on my second trip, this time to western Canada. I munch through new sites, new places, new people and new stories like a hungry madwoman, sleeping in my truck, working in coffee shops, libraries and laundry mats. I’m happier than I’ve ever been as a “modern day gypsy.”
I have a lot of lost time to make up for–it has taken me five decades to finally understand what makes me tick and (this is the most important part) not give a damn what other people think about what I’m doing.
It’s true what they say, at least in my case…you must lose your life to gain it. You HAVE to care what people think sometimes, but when it comes to setting the direction of your life, strip everything away and see what you are left with that is invincible. THAT will give you clues to the happy direction of your own life.
Wow. Quite the tale, Kindra. Doesn’t sound like you’ve “lost” any time, however, but rather just had alternative adventures that have made you who you are today — though, it’s always good to live life now with urgency, anyway.
I daydream constantly about writing in a small cabin up the northwest coast, which is something I can actually pull off. However, I have some more things to accomplish here in this house first, so we’re taking the future move slowly. Still, the gypsy life always calls those of who have tasted it…
Thanks for the note.
Kendra, for purely selfish reasons I really hope you are keeping or start a blog about your aventures… and that I get to read it one day!
Always learned some wise words from Mr. Carlton.
Thanks for sharing this awesome podcast.
Thanks for stopping by. Please help us spread the word about this free podcast, so we’re all motivated and shit about doing more…
I’m loving every episode of this podcast and find myself looking forward to them.
John, I want to first thank you for your thoughts on creating a business for more meaningful reasons beyond money. Oddly enough, I’m on the verge of starting a business in which I write and record guided meditations. Seems like a meaningful kind of product, right? Yet for months, I haven’t taken action because I’m only thinking about how the business can become profitable as fast as possible.
I’ve come to realize my thinking has always been to try and create a big pay day (like a John Reese-style “Million Dollar Day”) so that I can clear away debts, travel, move into a new home, etc. While one part of me desperately wants this, the other part wants to not care so much about the money and only focus on creating something of value. This duality has caused paralysis.
Listening to this episode has helped me get more clear about what my heart-felt intentions really are and to come closer to letting go of the notion of creating a business just for profit.
I do have a question for you.
Recently, I turned 44 years old. Since the age of 40, the thought “You’re too old to do (blank),” or “You’re 44! Why haven’t you achieved (blank) by now?” have been creeping into my regular self-talk more and more.
Do you have any advice on how to not let one’s age feel like a restriction or a success/failure measuring stick? I feel like this question, kind of, goes hand in hand with the topic of this podcast.
Thanks to both you and Kevin for putting in the time and effort with these episodes. It’s really, really appreciated.
Hi Wendy. Simple trick, based on the mostly counter-intuitive “brain wrangling” stuff most shrinks come to realize after spending the first part of their lives trying to help folks with silly things like reason and rational thought. Which never work with humans.
Instead, know that the Super Ego inside your head is the scolding parent’s voice, or the dark azzhole living inside you who refuses to allow you to claim victory for anything (or to ever feel pretty, or competent, or anything above the pure shame of being a flawed, horrible person). That’s the voice that rises in volume late at night and during times of self doubt… and yes, it really is trying to crush your spirit. Nobody truly understands why our “brain software” has this quirk in it. Sociopaths don’t have it, which is how they rise so quickly to powerful positions in biz and life. They’re operating with shameless (and often ethical-less) efficiency, while the good people around them struggle with feelings of inadequacy and shame.
You can’t “think” your way around this voice. You gotta just roll up your sleeves and deal with it like you would a home invader — with viciousness and ruthless counter-moves.
Step One: Identify the voice, separate it from the other random chatter in your head, and give it form — I imagine mine as a weasel in a suit, a truly despicable creature who’s just trying to ruin things. Giving the voice a “shape” makes it easier for the following steps.
Step Two: Confront the little bastard. This is a Jungian tactic for nightmares (“turn and face what’s chasing you”) that understands how inchoate fears shrivel under close inspection. Turn to your invading weasel (or whatever form you’ve made the voice into) and say, quote: “Shut the fuck up!” In your mind’s eye, move into the weasel’s space and back the little creep up into the wall.
Step Three: Now imagine either a closed door or a big soundproof box. Force Mr Weasel into it, and lock it up. Don’t even imagine a muffled sound coming out — he’s completely locked away, out of sight and mind.
Step Four: Get on with your pursuit of specific goals.
Sounds too simple to work, doesn’t it. Get over your doubts — this is professional-level brain management. (And yes, it works with nightmares, too.)
You won’t banish Mr Weasel forever — he’ll get out and try to slip into the conversation again tomorrow, or even an hour later. Doesn’t matter — you simply go through the process again. And again. And again, as many times as you need to until his absences get longer and his reappearances more brief.
It’s just a voice. A nasty voice that knows how to wound you, but plays no proactive role in your pursuit of a good life.
You do not “risk” any damage to yourself whatsoever by doing all this. You won’t turn into a sociopath (and you wouldn’t even need to know about this process if you were one already, cuz you wouldn’t even HAVE Mr Weasel hanging around in the first place). He’s not performing some secret vital function for you — he’s pure non-essential crap, like crumbs in your keyboard that play no positive role, yet show up frequently (especially if you eat at your desk, like most writers do), and just need to be pounded out of the keys occasionally so you can get back to your work without the keys sticking.
I give you permission to use this tactic immediately. It works every time. You may need to get good at it, and Mr Weasel may be better than you at escaping right now, but you can overcome that with a dedicated effort.
Oh, and the idea that 44 is some kind of age benchmark is nonsense. Only in the rise of Hollywood over the last century has the idea that being young is essential to being creative taken hold. It’s bullshit. Older and wiser beats younger and dumber every time. The ONLY thing youth wins at is stuff that requires quick physical recovery or lack of regular sleep.
Extra Tip: Sleep is your friend. When I get sleep deprived, I feel actual depression coming on. A quick nap obliterates it… which means the “down” feeling was nothing more than my internal system feeling drained. Sleep conquers almost all the ills short of serious sickness.
Go get ’em.
This advice is a professionally polished fist-sized DIAMOND – solid, beautiful … and priceless beyond imagination.
The “simplicity” itself IS pro-level. It’s EPIC, actually, to see so much packed into one post.
My 2 cents if I may …
I’d just “rationalize” why Mr Weasel SHOULD be kicked out through the airlock every time – hopefully allowing people to follow John’s advice without ANY “fear of loss” whatsoever.
That voice is a leftover from ancient times when perfectly blending with the herd meant survival – back then, even the slightest mistake, deviation or creative thought would get you wounded, eaten, killed, starving to death or “worse” … banished (i.e. being fed to the predators to keep them busy).
Ever noticed how most herd animals are almost identical except for character? (which is suppressed during dangers, btw.)
The “what will people think” dialog is the evolved version of staying within the ranks to avoid predators and other threats that … no longer exist. (e.g. when’s the last time you ran from a hungry lion? When’s the last time you didn’t eat for week?).
Nowadays, being “happy, healthy and wealthy” in our massive “herd” of almost 7 billion people means standing out (so our problems are noticed) while providing value (so others can repay us by ensuring our survival) – both of which are ALIEN concepts to that racist Nazi in our brains, who’d rather maul us into submission with guilt, so we’d forget such “foolish ideals” and focus on “basic” 1 million-year-old “proven” group survival tactics instead.
Simply put: enjoying life isn’t even on Mr Weasel’s priorities. It never was and never will be. So follow John’s recommendations IMMEDIATELY, dethrone that Hitler and replace his “compliance propaganda” with the freedom of speech and expression your mind deserves.
You and I posted at the exact same time!
Thank you for thoughts as well!
John! A million thank yous for your detailed reply. I have taken your suggestion, your advice, and your wisdom to heart.
I’ve been a fan of yours since I watched “Simple Writing System”. My hope is that, one day, I’ll get the chance to meet, and have a conversation, with you.
Once again, thank you.
Thank you John and Kevin for this podcast, your insightful views and advice on life and business was exactly what I needed to hear. I especially loved the quote at the end. I have been stuck in analysis paralysis (much like Wendy above) for the longest time. This podcast has given me a real kick up the backside to unleash my full potential or at the very least, take a chance and not be afraid of failure or allow myself to be defined by it – its just another learning experience. Really good stuff guys, keep ’em coming!
Thanks for the kudos, Ricky. We have a few more planned, at least. If enough people get hip, we’ll continue on even further.
So be sure to share with your pals and enemies and no-good-rotten relatives. Most folks can benefit from a little soul-searching and brain-self-examination…
Glad you got the kick you wanted, too… I know the feeling of just analyzing everything to death, and it’s a bitch…
It’s funny, since starting this freelancing shebang a couple years ago, dealing with the ups and downs has become almost addictive. As a ‘deep-end’ way of learning to deal with problems, it’s hard to better.
I’d never really been one of life’s great ‘problem-solvers’ before (I know, call myself a copywriter!?), but surviving in bizniz has taught me all sorts of ways to deal with the sucker punches you guys allude to in the headline. So now I’m starting to see challenges where there were once obstacles – like John says, our perception is so important, and a lot of it’s based on experience. The more waves in your ocean, the better you get at dealing with them.
So I’m all for what you talk about here – with greater awareness comes less fear. Don’t ignore problems, or stick your head in the sand – you won’t do your family, friends, clients or your biz any favours (let alone yourself!)
Being time rather than money-motivated is a good start, and I’m personally always likely to be that way too, but for others the striving for different forms of ‘success’ or wealth can be a worthwhile pursuit – if that’s really what makes ’em happy. But like you say, we should “take failure as another lesson…” NOT as a kind of status update of where we are now.
Great series so far guys. Meandering yet focused – spot on.
I’ve been told my meandering in and around various tangents, always eventually returning to the original topic, is “charming”.
Not sure yet if that’s hidden code for “maddening” or not…
Wise insights, Peter.
It’s easy to equate money with freedom. They aren’t same thing. Having plenty of money buys you choices, but to achieve freedom you’ve got to actually become content with what you have now.
Still working on that one myself.
We all set these “when I have… that’s when I’ll…” scenarios about when we’ll allow ourselves to exhale and enjoy life more. It’s a shit plan… especially if you burnout in the process.
Good hearing from you Peter.
Great show, guys.
I was reading Claude Hopkin’s My Life In Advertising the same time I was listening to the podcast, and a couple of quotes from the Master seemed relevant.
In chapter 5, “Larger Fields,” in reflecting on his ambitious desires as a young go-getter that led him far afield of his home in Grand Rapids, Hopkins says:
Hopkins was being modest when he said that money came to him “in a measure.” He made millions as a copywriter … in 1920s dollars.
Also, when Jon mentioned Halbert’s and Abraham’s restless nature, I thought of this from Hopkins:
And since I’m in a quoting mood, I might as well as throw in a few other wise words about money from Mr. Carlton — but here I’m paraphrasing: Having money solves the problems that not having money creates. Amen.
Hi Scott. Interesting juxtaposition there with Claude (my main man).
Just to be clear: That quote of mine (and it is all mine, I done made it up original and everything) about money is often misunderstood. When I say that money solves the problems that not having money creates… I’m referring to the broke dude (myself, originally) who thought having a thousand dollars in my bank account would solve “everything” for me. But it didn’t, and it never can. Having money rush into your life is fun, I won’t deny it. However, you quickly discover that it ONLY solves those problems that were in your life because you were broke. All the other problems — loneliness, seething rage at the world, poor self-image, self loathing, shame, etc — will not be affected by cash… and may, in fact, become exacerbated. Because you now possess the cash you imagined would help, and it’s not doing anything, so your original plan to become “happy” (get lots of cash, and then everything will magically be okay) is shown up to be a pot of BS…
… and you’re left facing reality without the hope and balm that now-crushed belief had brought you.
This is why lottery winners get rid of the cash asap, and why NBA stars are broke within 5 years of leaving the league (after throwing money at their issues), etc.
It’s the same with everything else that people crave, without examining: Fame, trophy spouses, facelifts, all of it.
Best path: Figure out what you really want, and get busy finding how others dealt with it, and adopt the good tactics while modifying others into customized ways to help you specifically. This requires massive insight, self reflection, acceptance of reality over belief systems, and becoming competent with the tools of goal acquisition and self-actualization (becoming the person you desire to be).
Just wanna make sure that’s clear. I am NOT saying that money solves much in your life beyond paying the rent, cushioning the realities of life (staying warm when it’s cold, getting good health care, eating well, etc), and providing proof that you’ve done something right in life (“money equals applause” in marketing).
See? I can’t provide a simple answer anymore. Everything’s gotta go off on tangents…
You just revealed the secret recipe, John.
Read ya loud and clear … and what I love about your quote is that it neatly sidesteps the whole “money will make me happy” vs. “money won’t make me happy” dichotomy. It’s easy to teeter-totter between these two beliefs, sloshing back ‘n forth between money-lust and money-avoidance. But as you point out, it ain’t about that. Because having money is a great thing … as long as you know what it can do for you. And what it can’t.
Personally, a large part of my focus each day is on making money. But that’s because I don’t have a lot of it — yet. And while I don’t believe that getting more will make me happier — except in the sense of accomplishment and pride in taking care of my family — I do believe that getting my hand on some fat stacks will help to alleviate some of my worries about bills ‘n such.
(OTH I’m well aware that more money often creates higher bills … as your lifestyle changes and expectations ratchet up, making more often equals spending more. So that’s something to consider. That’s why it’s such a good idea to inventory your dreams and figure out what exactly you’ll be happy with. )
Even though I’m not rich … (that is, yet … did I stress that already?) … I’m a pretty happy guy … especially when I don’t obsess about what I don’t have.
After all, I already won the homo sapiens jackpot, just by being born in America at the end of the twentieth century. I live in a beautiful part of the country. I’m married to an amazing women and together we get the opportunity each day to hang out with our adorable and spirited daughter. And I’m healthy.
What more could I want?
(Well … live forever, develop superpowers, maybe achieve some world peace … but I figure I’ll work on these things later.)
Getting “rich” (which for me is a specific number with specific goals) is on the list, but it’s certainly not at the top.
Great podcast and my favorite episode yet.
So many truisms here. In my industry I see so many people who are continually getting “sucker punched” over and over and over again.
That happens when you don’t to take the time to understand why you got punched the first time though.
Looking forward to the next episode!
Lotta Joe Palooka’s wandering around the biz world, yes. (1930s obscure reference to a famous cartoon fighter…)
It was a blast doing this show…
I love much of Mr. Carlton’s work. He’s a brilliant copywriter. And a master of the language.
But when I see comments like, “this kind of rumination can put you in a fetal position sobbing about the angst of being nothing more than a massive chemical and mechanical reaction […] There’s no meaning, in fact, to look for,” I feel compelled to speak on behalf of that silent part of you which, perhaps unnoticed, rejected those comments for some indefinable reason.
Because the fact is, your life is nothing but one unending pursuit of meaning. Meaning is flowing into you on a daily basis. From the simplest experiences to the most profound. The pursuit of meaning is the reason you get out of bed in the morning. It’s what powers your existence.
What do you think it is that’s there the moment you wake up in the morning…. urging you to be more, compelling you to do something better than what you did yesterday? Do you think you create that urge? Do you think it is something you “choose” to do? I assure you it isn’t. That urge is there before you are even able to put words to it…. before you are even able to translate it into a goal or anything else.
Take anything you now pursue and you’ll find the end you are pursuing is an influx of new meaning, one way or another.
Meaning is why you stand before the Grand Canyon in involuntary silence. Meaning is why you are moved by people who sacrifice themselves for the sake of another. Meaning is why certain books, music, and movies speak to you in ways that don’t even register with other people.
Someone might hear all this and think, “Baloney…. that’s not true…. and I can prove it to you. I want to be a top-notch copywriter so I can make a nice, hefty income. That’s got nothing to do with meaning.” And to that I would ask, but what is the *ultimate* end you’re after? Certainly it’s not just a stack of money. And certainly it’s not just for the new experiences that stack of money can buy you. One way or another it’s for the *meaning* you are hoping to secure from those experiences — whether those experiences come in the form of possessions, recognition, or anything else.
What you’re really pursuing from that new car, from that new home, from that new relationship…. is meaning. Pure and simple.
Mr. Carlton is right in that — from our present level of understanding — nearly all of the “meaning” we experience is 100% self-generated. But there are two very different types of meaning. There is the one that is without question self-generated. This is the “meaning” that rises up when you are cut off in traffic, or when you are flattered by a colleague, or when you bank a massive check from your biggest client. That type of meaning is created by self-image, by stored up false identity. It can produce a momentary thrill, but it is powerless to effect any lasting change in your life.
But there’s another kind of meaning. One that is the product of revelation. I don’t mean the airy fairy revelation described in religious sermons, I mean those ACTUAL revelations that change the very nature of your character.
For example, take the moment when you suddenly realize that your obsession with money has been stealing any chance you had for authentic contentment. Or the realization that your possessiveness of the other person in your life was secretly driving him or her away from you. That is an influx of meaning that is not self-generated, and that produces an immediate change in your character.
See, Mr. Carlton is right, but only partially so.
If you look at your life just on the surface, it is indeed one big meaningless heap of experience. You’re born…. you go through a bunch of experiences….. then you die. If that’s all you understand about your life, then indeed there is no meaning in it whatsoever.
But when someone points out to you that your life — including all of your life circumstances — are merely a stage through which a Greater Story is being told, then your life takes on an altogether new meaning.
Then your life has a meaning that is enlarged by *everything* that happens within it.
This very conversation has been going on since the first self-styled philosophers stayed up late in the cave one night, sipping rotten grape juice and gnawing on well-cooked mastodon haunches and wondering what it all means… and why life was so brutish and short, while the Milky Way twinkled above, promising so much more just out of reach…
I also think you misconstrued that original statement — I’m not advocating for curling up in a fetal position. Rather, I advocate enlightenment and expanding consciousness… which includes knowing where some types of loop thinking can take you (as in a fetal position).
Did anyone else come away from my statement thinking I was advocating not looking for meaning?
Tim, while I don’t really agree on your interpretation of John’s words (in fact i got the opposite out of it, but for me that’s beside the point, we don’t have to agree! ) I LOVE the distinction on meaning that you gave: the purely self-generated “story” we make up vs those real aha moments. . This is the first time I’ve heard this and I think it’s a really valuable insight. . And then am also lead to wonder if perhaps we CAN create more of those aha moments if we try…
Thank you SO much for this show. . John, I first started listening to you for Copywriting advice only to discover that you add so much to the personal introspection part of the equation that I am also going through right now.
The “meaning” thing has been huge for me. . So much so that whenever I feel that I am engaging in any activity “just for the money” my psyche breaks down and refuses to move forward until I can attach it to greater meaning and value both to myself and to my future clients – it feels literally out of my control. So i have 2 options: stay stuck and “procrastinate” or take the time to reflect, find meaning and move forward. This has made me feel like a “slowpoke” at times, but I do think that I am working out the “meaning” kinks as I go along rather than when it all drops on me like a piano falling from the sky one day 😉
It’s sooo refreshing to read that indeed.. I’m “not alone in this”. Subscribing to podcast now! 🙂
Ps: I’ve also discovered that a crucial part of marketing any company or service is to FIRST market to YOURSELF. When you mine for and tap into the exuberance of the real value you are offering, marketing is just an expert communication of that. I think it’s really worth taking the time to “market to yourself” before going out to the world. Write the first sales page as if you were explaining to (and convincing) YOURSELF about the value of the product or service. . Often this will make you think of improvements to add to product/ service so that you really CAN feel exuberant about it. Oddly I never really heard this mentioned in the business podcasts and blogs about marketing (at least not yet).. but it had been (and still is, as I write sales page 2.0) really crucial for me. Hannah
Pps: have to add one last thing! I listen to MANY podcasts.. this is the 2nd one all year that made me stop what I’m doing and feel compelled to post a (long! ) msg and say thank you! So YES guys, PLEASE keep this up.. it’s a different, refreshing and highly valuable contribution to the entrepreneurial landscape out here, which can get caught up in the “just hustle” part of the equation but ignore these bigger & more important – wait for it- “meanings” & human psychological experiences. 🙂 Hannah
So guys – when is the next episode out? Or is the delay a deliberate ploy to get me to listen to the previous episodes 2 or 3 times more and extract more gems on each occasion? If so, it’s working. But I would like more.
Thank you in anticipation.
Hang tight, Phil… new episodes recorded and arriving very soon. Thanks for your patience and more, for your enthusiasm.
Hannah — thanks for all the kind words and you are spot on with your comments. One version of the “letter for me and a letter for them” tactic I’ve used quite a bit is starting a draft as a conversation between the author of the letter (usually the client) and the most stone faced cynical buyer I can imagine. It’s a great way to test your research and ability to handle objections.
Thanks for being here guys, we love doing these shows and your feedback is why.
More good stuff! You’re absolutely right that I’d love to be in a position where I had so much success that I found myself in an existential crisis from too much awesomeness in my life…
I’m going to sit down and make some Wanna Do and Don’t Wanna Do lists right now. Thanks for the great podcast, guys.
You’re welcome, Daniel. Thanks for the note…
Hey John & Kevin, love the show (It’s like ILoveMarketing 2.0). Any idea when y’all will do the next one?
Just wanted to share my success story:
John, you said that “if you really want to ask Suzie Q out, then you should.” So I did.
She said “yes.” She also said she “felt the same way” about me for the past 8 years.
(Weird side note: her and I were born the same day, the same month and the same year.)
Anyway, thanks again – your advice started the relationship I’ve always wanted.
Ha. You gotta name the first borne after me now, you know…
Congratulations. Sounds like a true match.